The Unwritten Rules of Chat Communication
Do you think instant messaging is the same as any other form of written communication? Think again. Over time, various unwritten rules have emerged that need to be observed if you want to get your chat message across correctly. We have compiled a few of these rules of etiquette in this (not-quite-serious) blog post.
Since the first SMS was sent in 1992, short messages have become the preferred form of communication for many people. Even though it is a rather informal way of communication, there are some unspoken rules to follow:
The “K”
Imagine you take your time to carefully compose your messages, rewrite, and think them through, and the answer is a simple “k.” Would you feel offended? As a single response in such a context, “k” seems to be a passive-aggressive way of saying “I’ve read your message, but I don’t care.”
If you want the conversation to continue, it’s better to reply with “Sounds good” or something similar.
“Okay.” with a period has a similar effect to “k,” which brings us to the next rule.
The Full Stop
Grammatically speaking, a period would, of course, be correct. However, if you use a period in a messaging app, you may appear to be either annoyed or unexpectedly serious.
In chats, full stops are often replaced by emojis or omitted altogether – anything else shows the other person that you are taking the matter (too) seriously and that humor is not appropriate. If this is the case, go ahead and use a full stop. If you just want to have a casual conversation, omit the full stop.
The Response Time
The “instant” in instant messaging already suggests the pace of the communication, but there are differences here, too: if you respond too quickly, you appear desperate or as if the matter is very urgent; if you take too long to respond, it shows indifference.
Take a moment to think about your response (unless it’s urgent, of course), but don’t wait so long that the other person has to follow up. If you won’t be able to respond for a few hours, let the other person know with a quick heads-up.
The Message Length
Some people send messages consisting of just three words.
Type, send, type, send.
What they actually want to say only becomes clear after several messages.
And then there are those who pack several paragraphs into a single message.
Neither is ideal: on the one hand, you don’t want to receive a push notification every three seconds, but on the other hand, you don’t want to read entire novels in a chat app.
As is so often the case, it’s all about finding the right balance: include enough content in a single message to provide value, but not so much that it loses impact. Instead of sending novels or writing as you think, try to structure the content a bit. This also has the advantage that the other person can better respond to each message using the quote feature.
The Voice Message
Want to quickly capture a thought when you’re on the go and can’t type? Absolutely fine. Record an entire podcast episode and expect the other person to take half an hour to listen to it? Not everyone will appreciate that.
A voice message should be short and informative; if it contains more than four “ums,” it’s too long. In such cases, a phone call might be the wiser choice, also allowing the other person to respond directly.
The Emojis
Loved by some, despised by others. The little colored pictograms provide enough material for entire blog posts, so here’s just a quick tip: one or two appropriate emojis are fine in most cases, but for anything that goes beyond that, you have to be very hyped. 😉
